Since I am kinda annoyed with Wordpress menu and have been testing another software that seems to be better, I decided to move it from there. To be fair the problem with the menu seems to be more with the current theme I am using than anything else. I don’t feel like searching for another theme that would fit the blog either since the last time I did took way too long to find this one. I really don’t have the patience for that now.

Another reason is the new software I will be using is very flexible. So flexible that I will probably just do one install and configure it to run the blog and another site that is a secret right now. Because I don’t know if I can implement the other site, I need time to study how to work with the software and customize it for this secret project. I am not sure if I will be able to do it. If I don’t say anything more about it just assume it died.

Whatever the results though with my secret project the blog will be moving to the new software. The flexibility it provides is just good enough to justify it for me.

So, until then, updates will be very, very rare. If it happens at all. We’ll see.

Sooo…. I’ve been for the last weeks without much of a desire to play. Or to do anything related to Everquest 2, except to spam around the official forums.

Which sucks for a number of reasons. One of them is that I must be at the bottom of level on the Permadeath Competition. I will still try on that since I didn’t even die once yet! And the competition only starts getting interesting after your first death.

Anyhoo… I am already feeling a little better so might be playing more now. For now, I will leave ya with some screenshots of Ramalis’ house. Enjoy!

Warning: Lots of images and a bit of rambling after the link.  Also it is just a copy of the post on the official forums because I am just that lazy.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ok. I’ve been talking this about a long time so here it is!

The house is located on the Silver Leaf Inn, in Kelethin, under Lumilie. It is on the Antonia Bayle server.

Warning: Lots of images ahead!

Read the rest of this entry »

Uh… Did I say in the last post that I would say more about this Permadeath Challenge tomorrow?

Oh, my. I meant the day after tomorrow. Yes, that is what I meant. I wasn’t being lazy. No, sir. The word lazy doesn’t even exist on my dictionary.

Anyhoo, yesterday I created a character on the Oasis server (because the name was taken on the Permafrost server already) for the contest. His name: Lemming. Class: Assassin. Race: Erudite.

Now if you are old enough to remember a certain game, you will probably understand why I chose that name. The race and class was in part for amusement value and other part to make things a little more challenging.

But that’s where the challenging stops. I chose to start on Timorous Deep because the equipment there is good, I know the quests and… Well, it is Timorous Deep!

From there I will probably continue with familiar zones until my poor assassin meet his demise. Which probably won’t take long after he gets off Timorous Deep. That is, assuming he doesn’t die before.

Every death shall be posted here. Probably with a story too. But we’ll see about that.

For now I must wait for the contest to start. So I will just leave you with a screenshot of Lemming waving at the camera:

Or maybe not so slightly. The reasons?

1. I upgraded my account for the Station Access thing. Can you say more alts? Oh, yes, more alts. More preciousss.

2. I decided to make an alt guild for my evil guys. Crazyness? Definitely. Will it work? Who knows? But I don’t care. I will give it a try anyway. Still working out the IC details though.

3. I decided to join the Allakhazam Permadeath Challenge. More details about that tomorrow.

Also, I am tweaking the blog a bit. So if something stops working for some reason give it some time. It is just me messing around.

Aaaand to finish things off, a virtual cookie to whoever can say the name of the band and song that the title of this post comes from. It is so easy that’s almost not fun to ask. : p

This shall be my last entry on this journal.

I found out today that I failed to lady Alika. I will leave the details outside this journal as I do not think it would be adequate to write them down.

I also find that lord Zz’fyn’Arixx is not the man I thought he was. He commited a terrible crime that can not be forgiven. One that I cannot forgive.

All the other rumors about him doing terrible things are probably true as well.

The only thing left for me to do now is to seek power. Not any ordinary power. The power of the gods. After I obtain it I will be able to seek revenge for what has been done. I left Aiaru as I do not want their name to be involved on this.

I also probably won’t come back from it alive. But I don’t really care about it anymore. Everything I believed in was a lie anyway. At least with my revenge I shall be doing one good thing before dieing. The only good act I ever did.

((OOC: There was a lot more that happened in-game than this. But I really have a bad memory and can’t remember anymore the order of the events. I also need to finish this journal. So I will just come up with a lame excuse to not cover most of it and be done with it. Sorry if it bothers any of the people involved on it.))

It is been a long time since I wrote on this journal. I started it to help organize my thoughts. My feelings. That seems impossible lately. This time though I will make an effort to write.

Many things happened as well. To cover them all would take too much time. Right now I am lacking the patience for that as well.

Summing up, I have been spending a lot of time away from Neriak. Either by orders of lord Zz’fyn’Arixx or by my own will. That is the only way I found to make the hate maneageable. When it is by my own will I spend time in a place in Butcherblock Mountains I found out the first time there. It has a beautiful view. For some reason it seems to bring me a bit of peace. I wonder if it was an important place to my previous life or if it is just the view.

The other reason I am spending so much time away is… lady Alika fell in love with another man. I am trying to accept it as best as I can. He seems to be an honorable man and to truly love her. Even then, every time I see them together, my heart aches. There is also the problem that her lover is a koada’dal… I fear that one day I just might lose the little bit of control I might have and a tragedy might happen. I would never be able to forgive myself if lady Alika lost someone she loved. Specially if it is by my own hands.

As for everything else, it is all the same. I am still a squire. Still training to become stronger to earn my title as knight. Still trying to improve my craftmanship as an armorer.

Speaking of which I should be heading right now to meet a client right now about some armor orders.

Damn it all! I can’t believe things could go so badly in such a short amount of time.

I better start from the beginning. Last night I went to meet with Lord Zz’fyn’arixx on his mansion. It was unusual but first thing he asked was if there was anything I wanted to talk with him before he gave me new orders. I thought that was a test of loyalty. I was sending reports to him mail and he might have found out the reason for it. That question was to see if I was going to tell him the truth about the matter. I thought about it for a moment but didn’t say anything about it.

Instead I decided to bring the subject of becoming a knight. He refused to acknowledge me as one. Then I did the most foolish thing I ever did. I challenged him to a duel.

My idea was that if I showed him my strength he would have no choice but to acknowledge me as equal. Instead all I was able to achieve was to show him how weak I still am. He defeated me easily. Then he said that if I ever brought the subject again there would be no head over my shoulders anymore.

As that wasn’t bad enough he also dismissed me from being lady Alika’s guardian. Lord Zz’fyn’arixx would be assigning a new one shortly. He was also arranging a marriage for her with someone that that would be surely to her liking. That means, someone of the same station to her, with the same views as my his ones. Lastly I should deliver these news to her myself. I wanted to protest but did not do it. Lord Zz’fyn’arixx is not a man that takes lightly anyone that opposes him. Specially those who serve him.

That night I had a hard time getting to sleep. My mind was still trying to digest everything that happened, trying to find a way to stop the marriage. No matter how much I thought I could not think of any way that was honorable.

The next day I went to give the news to lady Alika. Since this was a delicate issue I wanted to speak with her alone. She on the other hand seemed to have other ideas. Together with us was Araineth, her fae older brother. I didn’t mind his presence since he was lady Alika’s brother. So he had the right to know these news. The other one was a koada’dal, that I found out later goes by the name Maerik. His presence there bothered me but lady Alika said he could be trusted. The reception from both men was not very friendly but I guess that was to be expected considering I serve lord Zz’fyn’arixx. Even in Neriak there are many who don’t like my master.

As expected the news was not recieved well. As we discussed the matter, mr. Hawhke, the koada’dal that was with lady Alika’s the previous day and the one we met in Kelethin, appeared. He sugested that we tried to forge lady Alika’s death so she would be free from the arranged marriage. He also said something cryptic I could not understand. We couldn’t agree what to do though so the meeting ended. Araineth asked me though if I could arrange a meeting between him and lady Alika’s betrothed. I promised him I would do that on my next meeting with lord Zz’fyn’arixx.

Later on I was going to meet a client in Freeport for some armorsmith work. As I walked to the client’s house I found mr. Hawhke attacking lady Alika!

That scene made all the control over my hate to simply vanish. I demanded him to release lady Alika which he did without hesitation. Imediataly after that a black armor appeared over his body and he attacked me. It was a hard fight. Not only he was a good swordsman there seemed to be something else giving him power. In the end I won.

As he lay down defenseless I was ready to kill him. If lady Alika didn’t put herself between us I would certainly have done it. I harbor no love for the koada’dal but I know that if he was killed it would hurt her more than any weapon would. That thought was the only thing that allowed me to sheet my sword.

Mr. Hahwke regained his conscience shortly after that. Lady Alika proceeded to heal him. Then we, or rather I, found out the reason for his strange behavior. It seems he is posessed by a demon. A destroyer of worlds as the beast introduced itself. We exchanged a few words but eventually mr. Hawhke seemed to be able to regain control. He said he had an idea on how to solve that situation and we were to meet him in Neriak.

As we entered Neriak we saw mr. Hawhke jumping inside the forge of the blue flame at the entrance. We shouted for him, begging him to get away from there while he was still alive. Again the only thing I could think of was how sad lady Alika would feel if he died. Then I jumped inside the forge too with the intention of taking mr. Hawhke out of there alive. Before the flames hit me I could feel lady Alika’s warden surrounding me. That protected me from the flames.

I tried to move mr. Hawhke with all the strength I had. But it didn’t work. It was like there was an invisible force rooting him in there. What happened next is still something I can’t understand. All I know is whatever happened in there helped him somehow. Because once we got out he seemed to be the same person as the one I met in Kelethin.

We traded a few words then lady Alika said Maerik could help us. To teach us to control our hate. By then I was really tired of dealing with koada’dal and snapped at her. The way she got angry made me regret those words immediately. I tried to apologize but didn’t do it the proper way. I couldn’t bear to see her angry like that so I just left.

A few hours later lord Zz’fyn’Arixx summoned me. He didn’t even give me time to arrange a meeting between Araineth and lady Alika’s betrothed. He only ordered me to go train in the Butcherblock mountains for some days. I only had permission to go back to my house to gather some supplies before leaving. The supplies are already ready and I am going to leave right now. Hopefully when I come back there will be a solution to this arranged marriage.

Upon returning from my journey my first stop was in Freeport. I wanted to buy some gifts to lady Alika but all the shops were closed due to a holiday. It was Erollisi Day.

The only sellers I could find were two… extravagant men. The first thing that caught my atention was a small teddy bear. I decided to buy that one since lady Alika seemed to like animals. The next thing that caught my attention was a box of chocolate. It reminded me of my childhood, how I loved it back then. My foster mother would always arrange some way to get me some chocolate. I know lady Alika didn’t have a normal childhood but even her must like those. The only problem was… it came in a heart-shaped box. My worry at the time was that could cause confusion as far as my intentions went. Still I decided to buy it anyway and explain later.

The next stop was harder to deal with. Neriak. As soon as I arrived at Darklight Woods I could feel the hate clouding my mind. A desire to kill all the Tier’Dal. I controlled it as best as I could. Eventually I was able to reach lady Alika’s house without any fight. Passing through the door calmed my mind quite a bit as the memories of our conversations came to mind.

I was hoping that we could have some time for just the two of us to talk. But she already had a guest. A koada’dal guest. It was a friend of lady Alika, one I met during that trip to Kelethin. His hair was different, as well as the type of clothing. He also seemed drunk by the end of our meeting but as for everything else he was still recognizable.

As soon as I saw him I could feel the hate trying to take over my mind. Not only that, there was another feeling mixed with it. Jealousy.

Due to the nature of her guest my visit was brief. There was a lot I wanted to tell her but the time didn’t seem appropriate for that. Or for the gifts.

During my visit I didn’t give much thought to my feelings since all my energy was being spent on controlling my hate. I only noticed the jealousy later on when I was back at my room in the inn. Since then I had no doubt anymore. I love lady Alika. I don’t know when my desires to protect her changed into feelings of love. Or even if that matters. All I am certain is that I want to be by her side. Not as a guardian anymore but as her lover. That cannot happen though. Not until I am a knight since people in Neriak would never accept someone of her station to have a squire as a lover.

I returned later that night. Lucky was with me this time as she was alone. I gave her the gifts. She didn’t seem to mind the box much but loved the flower. If I ever return to Kelethin I will need to thank miss Lumilie for that.

I asked her what happened during my absence. It seems the leaders of her gypsy band left. The one who took the leadership then was… lady Alika.

Before this journey started, when she told me she was part of this band I tried to accept it. It seemed to make her happy and I thought she would see the silliness of that soon enough. Besides it was no worse than having a pirate as a friend. But being the leader of a band? That was too much. I urged her to leave them but as always she didn’t listen to me.

So I did the only thing I could. I joined them. If they are good people like she believes, then there will be nothing to worry about. If they are not then I want to be near her when things go wrong.

She then gave me what seemed to be a tarot card and a starry cloak. Strength was written on the card. I don’t know if there is any other meaning or if it was just her way to show her trust on me. All I know is each member has a different card. We can use those to communicate with each other. Perhaps I shall try to find more about the meaning behind this card later.

We talked a bit more then I told her about my journey. About my findings, about my past life, about my hate. Lady Alika listened quietly, asking a few questions at some parts. She seemed to understand my predicament and offered her support.

After that I left with a vow to return as a knight.

Going back to Kelethin was not easy. All those feelings I felt before came back. Much stronger too. It was hard to think clearly.

To make matters worse none of the fae wanted to help me as soon as I mentioned I was an arasai. None, except one. She was a strange fae, by the name Lumilie, that seemed more concerned about my appearance than my story. She also invited me to stay on her house while I was in Kelethin. I tried to refuse since my presence there would probably just cause problems to her. But she didn’t care insisting that it would be more confortable than sleeping with on the grass. So I just accepted it and have been sleeping on the couch of her house during my stay there.

Once Lumilie heard my story she explained that there were many among her people who didn’t trust outsiders. Specially arasai given the way we were created.

There were still enough who would be willing to help though as long as I proved to them that my intentions were good. She said that I should ask others what I could do to prove myself to them. After this they should be more willing to hear my story. Probably even help me. Lumilie wouldn’t be able to help me much beyond the hospitality she gave me though. Seems like she was a warden and a tailor. I just came in during a time where she was swamped with work on both areas. She would try to check on my progress from time to time though.

So I did as Lumilie recommended. Like she said there were a few who outright refused to talk to me. Most though were just surprised that I would be willing to prove myself to them. Most of the tasks given were very dangerous. Others were pranks. Harmless pranks but still annoying. As each task was completed they were willing to listen to my tale. They told me those dreams were probably from the war of the fay. How I could still have memories from being a fae they didn’t know. But maybe if I visited the most notable places where the war happened that would awaken my spirit bud completely.

I went to those places as they sugested. On each one a memory would come back. A memory of being a fae paladin under the service of tunare. Of having family, a wife, friends. All of them lost during the war. One by one slayed by the Teir’Dal. The last one being his wife. That’s when things went wrong. He was struck with grief and hate towards the enemy, fighting by himself. Tunare then took her blessings from him. That didn’t stop him. He just kept fighting.

Eventually he too was killed. I won’t write the details of his death as they were quite gruesome. All I can say is that with his last breath he cursed both Tier’Dal for what they did and the Koada’Dal for being the cause of the war.

Describing the awakening of your spirit bud is hard. It is like discovering a part of you who you didn’t know existed. But once you discovered it is like it was there all the time, just unknown to you. In my case all the confusion I felt in Kelethin was gone. The feelings were still the same but they felt natural now. The hate from my past life was also there. Burning brightly. Just thinking about returning to Neriak brought it to the surface.

One question still bothered me though. I was born arasai. I never had doubt about that. But then why did I have memories from a fae? It just shouldn’t be possible. Again the same people who helped me to awaken my spirit bud were the ones with the answer. Their theory is that since it came from a paladin the spirit bud might have survived Queen Cristanos “corruption”, as they put it, mostly intact. The feelings I had before were from my necromantic powers trying to finish off what she could not do. It might still be trying to do it but it shouldn’t make any difference anymore now that it is fully awaken.

With that my journey ended. Between tasks and visits to historical areas me and Lumilie had a few times to talk. We spoke about each others life so far, about our beliefs, the citis each of us called home. She was an interesting person. Maybe too worried about appearances but interesting nonetheless. I also think that I might just have made a fae friend. Weeks ago such thought would be absurd for me. Right now it just feels natural.

As I waited on the docks for my boat, Lumilie brought me a flower. She said it was a very resistant flower, found only in the faydark, that I should give it to my sweetheart once I got back home. I told her that I didn’t have any sweetheart in Neriak. She just rolled her eyes and told me it was for lady Alika. I then explained to her that our relation was nothing of that sort. I was just her guardian and nothing more. Lumilie shook her head at that, saying that by the way I spoke about lady Alika it was obvious I was in love. I should just admit it. Besides even if it was not the case it would look bad for me, being her guardian, to not bring anything back after staying away for so long. That last argument was one that I could not disagree with. So I took the flower and planned to buy something in Freeport.

Currently I am in the boat back home. As I write this I wonder if there are some truth to Lumilie’s words. What are my real feelings towards lady Alika? Why have I kept so many important information out from my reports to lord Zz’fyn’arixx? Why I was so worried when she disappeared and went to Kelethin? Why have I been worried about her during all this journey?

Perhaps the fae is right. Perhaps I am in love with lady Alika. Unfortunately I am a squire now. She is of a higher station. A relationship between us would never be accepted by anyone in Neriak. If I truly love her then I need to become a knight. That is the only way both us can be together. Even if I am not, I need to become a knight soon. This way I shall not have to serve two masters anymore. Only one. Only lady Alika.